And so it ends......

One more day and 2005 is over. Just another year. I was listening to the radio this morning and the DJ was talking about how he always hears people say "this past year sucked, next year will be better". He has never heard anyone say, "this was a great year, wish it wouldn't end". I think he is right, I have never heard that myself. So what does that mean? Are our expectations too high? I wonder.

I sit and contemplate what the next year will bring. When I was young, I pretty much knew what I would be doing in the coming months, but as we leave the protective halls of our schools and parents' homes, our immediate futures are not so certain. I have decided trying to guess what I will do and where I will be is a waste of time, I am no prophet. I am now left with the desire to figure out what I would like to do and where I would like to be at the end of 2006. I am not sure. Actually, I have no idea. Is that a problem? Am I a messed up person because of it? I will be 29 years old in less than a month....should I have the answers by now? When I was just turning 20 I thought I would know, but alas, time flies when you are not coming up with a game plan for life. I have done pretty well so far. I have tried a few different jobs, crossed off a few "things to do before I die" off the list and have learned a lot from many different people. I have a good job with good people, though it is a bit boring for me and I would like more. What I want to do for a living is another decision which is up in the air at the moment. I also can not decide where I want to live. I have a nice home, but Massachusetts is not for me. It is too cold in the winter and too crowded all year round. Where do I want to go? I wish I knew. I need warm, dry air, lots of land, mountains and ocean water near by. So far, I can not seem to find it all in one place. If only I could travel, one home for winter, one for summer. Haa, time to win the lottery.

There are of course the old "staple" questions.....Do I want to get married? Do I want to have children some day? I hate that those questions seem to have so much importance in society, as though if I put my other life decisions ahead of them, I will somehow be a failure. My hope is that with my coming to some sort of revelation about who I am and what I want in life, the rest will fall into place and I will not have to make "love" part of a decision, but just go with it.

OUCH!

You know that pain the begins at one of the temples in one's head and then spreads into one's brain, bringing out the worst moods imaginable??? Well, guess what! I started off this day in pretty good spirits, despite being naggingly tired. I then got to work to find everyone would be out in the field again and I would be alone. That's fine, I listen to my radio, sing as much as I want and wander to the bathroom as many times as I want without worrying someone is thinking I have a bladder problem. (I drink a lot of water.) The trouble is when they are not here, I tend to find more mistakes they have made, whether by accident or on purpose. Hence, the striking tension headache which causes me to want to shut off the lights, crawl under my desk, put my head in my hands and just sit for a few hours. This way I can't see when an e-mail arrives questioning what we are thinking down in this office and I can block the ring of the phones from my ears. I will admit I do not have much to do throughout the day, but what work I do have tends to cause more aggravation than is necessary I work for a little Field Service office, but the eye of Corporate is always watching, waiting to break out that nail-laiden ruler with which to slap me on the hands. Ah well, I am getting quicker at pulling my hands away and covering my ass.

I take on more than I should at work, I can not help it. Once I am told what should be done, I will get it done, no matter how much trouble I have to go through. Don't get me wrong, I have learned many a shortcut, but in the end everything is done and the trail is clean. I seem to have the same trouble at the barn at night. Last night I was asked what to do about one of the horses, who had cut his leg. If he were my horse, I would be washing the leg and wrapping it, as well as giving him some anti-inflammatories.....but he isn't my horse. I asked if his owner has come down to see him since hearing of "her baby's" injury, but alas, no...no time. In my beginning days managing this barn, I would have just taken over, used my own supplies to care for this horse, and spent time that I should have spent with my own horse, but not any more. Granted, if the cut had been so bad as to need immediate treatment, I would "grin and bear it" and treat the wound, but this was not life-threatening, just something that needed some attention. I shot some meds down his throat, made some suggestions and moved on to my own work. Carol saw I was not going to cover for another lazy owner this time, so she wrapped the leg (with my wraps) and cleaned him up. She is good and kind, I am bitter and tired. My mares have had cuts, but no one cleans them up, no one uses their personal bandages to wrap my horses' legs. I am expected to be there and take care of it all myself, which I do. Sometimes I get tired of expectations, sometimes I want to be the lazy one who just doesn't do what I am counted on to accomplish. I do slack off on some areas of my life, but the important matters are completed. So these are the perils of being responsible I guess...... I don't recall signing anything agreeing to grow up damn it!!! :P

I dunno……………………

I have been thinking lately about “human nature.” I cannot be the only person confused by people and their actions. I think the holidays make me wonder more because people are even more “dramatic” during these times. Emotions are heightened, whether by excitement or stress. This fact is true, I do run to my animals when I feel overwhelmed by the “insanity” of humanity. My animals are not hypocritical, dishonest, or wrapped up in themselves. Their “honesty” seems to release me from my own confusion and it seemingly slows the world around me to a more acceptable pace, if only for a moment..

I cannot seem to keep up with society and the mind-blowing changes, which seem to occur. I want time to sit back and think about everything, but there is no time. For example, the constant debate as to whether to say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas. I understand saying “Merry Christmas” to someone who is Jewish is silly, so if I am unsure, “Happy Holidays” works for me. I can see the point of those who have brought up the complaint of religious references during the holidays, but were these holidays not originally based on religious beliefs? I am curious why this year the issue has been blown to immense proportions. Suddenly being “politically correct” is law. I have always tried to be pc, but the little nit-picking is beyond my comprehension and I am left feeling as though attempting to wish someone a nice holiday will be an insult. As if this world were not complicated enough in which to grow up, societal attempts to avoid upsetting people has only caused far more insult that ever imagined.

I wandered around my house Christmas Day while our “guests” sat in the living room (in silence the majority of the time). I could not make idle conversation, holiday or not. I sat and waited for them to eat and finally leave. I have a lot of trouble “faking" my feelings with people. I intensely dislike my sister’s boyfriend, therefore simply saying “Merry Christmas” made me want to gag. I was instructed to not say a word wrong, even if he said something rude. I do not trust myself to stifle my opinions around someone so ignorant and condescending, so I just wandered up and down the stairs pretending to be busy, all the while watching the clock in hopes that it would all be over soon and they would be on their “merry way”. I do not understand how he can come to our house, knowing full well that my sister tells my Mom all the terrible things he says/does to her each day. He knows we hate him, but he sits on our couch, eats our food, opens the presents that my mother begrudgingly buys him, all with a smug grin on his face. What arrogance, it floors me! I was good though, and for my own entertainment, I made a point to say goodbye while he packed up the car. He mumbled a goodbye, most likely sensing the sarcasm in my voice. Oh well, you don’t like it….SCREW!

I don’t think I will ever understand people. I will continue to sit back and watch, trying to figure out at least some of what they are thinking. A co-worker told me I was antisocial because I never want to go out with everyone after work. Maybe I am, but as nice as everyone is, I know most of their concern for me is an act and the rumors fly behind everyone’s back. I like to go out and socialize, but there has to be one person there I feel will be completely honest with me or everything is a lie. Will I say something wrong and have it all come back to haunt me while I work? I have not been here long enough to risk it, maybe I will never be.

Feeling enthusiastic!

So Christmas is over, it was good. I has a nice time Christmas Eve with people I care very much about and Christmas day got some nice gifts, that I completely was not expecting. I wish I had better gifts for people, but despite my lack in gift selection talent, I believe everyone had a good time.

I have my treadmill! I am very excited about it. Mom and I picked it up today, big sale, nice deal. I am still getting used to it, but just tried the harder walking program and it was fun. I know most people don't like them, but just the fact that I can physically challenge myself is fantastic to me. I can not wait to move up to the jogging programs, but must be careful to not push myself too hard. I hurt my back today just getting the treadmill, but my enthusiasm has so far protected me from feeling the pain. I am happy.

FA LA LA LA LA………….

Ok, so I was told I better get into the holiday spirit or I am going to get a kick in the ass. I am trying, I listened to some Christmas music for about 5 minutes this morning and I opened a present from my boss. HAAA, not good enough? It certainly is not working. Maybe once I start decorating or cooking, it will hit me. I just have too much to do at the moment, from work at the barn to finding gifts because those I ordered online have not arrived in the mail yet. I could use some days off to get my normal life done, never mind the holiday activities.

Christmas Eve I am planning on doing some cooking. I have to go to the mall in the morning to see the eye doctor, so my mood is going to be somewhat questionable depending on how many people try to run me off the road on the way there and how many body check me while running through the mall trying to get that last minute deal. I am not a fan of the mall, especially during the holidays. People are beyond rude this time of year, it always amazes me. But I digress, back to the thought of cooking. I like cooking, but I have to be in the mood. I am hoping the mood strikes me Saturday night. I figure, break open a bottle of champagne and start mixing my gingerbread cookie dough and a Christmas ditty will pop into my head and I will be singing away. Maybe……could happen………….Hey, you never know!

I know what my remedy will be for the current “blahs” I have…..a good laugh. I love laughing. I was laughing pretty hard last night at a silly link someone sent me via email. It does not take much to make me giggle, I can be quite silly. I try to surround myself with people who make me laugh, but with recent events, it has been hard. No one wants to laugh around the time of a funeral. I will never forget that scene in the movie Steel Magnolias, when the ladies are at the funeral and they start laughing about something one of them said. That has to be one of the funniest scenes, after just making the audience cry a few minutes beforehand. Somehow I feel guilty having fun after a tragedy, but I know that those individuals who are lost would not want their loved ones to remain unhappy. I have some great people in my life and I would like to celebrate with them, I would like to celebrate having these people around me.
It is time to drive around and look at all the Christmas lights, to watch all the Christmas movies and to laugh at all the craziness, which is involved with the holiday season. Happy Holidays to everyone, may 2006 be a fantastic year for us all.

A veil of darkness....

I am feeling extremely inadequate at the moment, as a caring, helpful person. Though it may sound selfish or somewhat self-concerning, I am angry with myself for not knowing how to help someone I care about through a tough time. I find myself sitting and waiting to be called on, all the while feeling like I am losing some battle I do not know how to fight. The desire to constantly call and ask if this person is doing ok is sometimes overwhelming, but I know it is not the right action to take. I am here, I am waiting, I am concerned....I guess this is the best I can do right now.

I find it so hard to be helpful in situations I can not fully understand. I try so hard, but as I can not say "I understand how you feel", I wonder if I am at all a benefit. My friends tell me, just be there, quietly make your presence known. I love too much to be "quiet" about anything. I have been told I try too hard to fix other people's problems, and maybe I do. If anything, I spend too much time worrying about the issues at hand, making myself less useful because my mind spins with concern.

I feel lost, but I am here. My fears are ready to be pushed aside, shoved into a corner. I must make room to consume whatever thoughts, emotions, or concerns that are shared with me. I am open, I am ready.........I am waiting.

Reasons............

I am sitting her listening to Christmas music on the one station which comes in on my radio, all the time wishing I had an Audio Slave or Seether cd in the radio. I did sing a couple lines of Rudolph though.

I am not sure how the conversation came about, but I was chatting with one of the guys at work Friday and he asked me where my Dad was. I told him I was not quite sure, but I knew where he last lived (12 or so years ago). He is actually not far from where I am now, if he still lives in that house I remember. My coworker, Chris, is a Dad of a little girl, so the thought of a daughter not wanting to talk to her father is upsetting to him. He kept asking me why I do not want to contact him. I said because he was an alcoholic who was mean and never seemed to like me. I tried to explain how he left us and has made no effort to contact me or my siblings, so why should I?. As I told Chris all these generic reasons for not having contact with my father, I was picturing, in the back of my head, my father holding that large kitchen knife up to my Mom's throat while I sat next to her in front of our house. What kind of man does that to a woman, never mind in front of his young daughter? He was angry, most likely had been drinking, but that is no excuse. I will never get that picture out of my head, therefore I will never forgive him. My Mom has always been there for me, my brother and my sister. She has done as much as she can for us, without his help. I do not need to see him, nor speak to him and frankly, I would much rather not. If I could erase the memories my Mom has of him, I would. He left her with guilt for choosing such a lousy husband, one who does not care what happens to his own children. My Mom deserved better, he did not deserve her. There are times I feel anger toward my father, but normally I feel absolutely nothing towards him. I feel sadness and sympathy for my Mom for the pain she still feels because of her past with him. I want my Mom to be happy, I want her to look back on her life and smile. I want her to wake up proud of her accomplishments as a caring mother and an intelligent woman who has done well without the help of a man. I want her to know I love her more than life itself and I appreciate everything she has ever done for me. I can never repay my Mom, just as I can never forgive my Dad.

One week left............

No time, no time!! Christmas has once again seemingly snuck up on me.. I know, it comes at the same time each year, but still....time flew this year. I was just attempting to write out Christmas cards, I hate that. I don't know what to write, especially to people I never really talk to. "Hi, hope you have a great holiday. Been great NOT hearing from you." Why do I feel obligated to send everyone a card? Though, I will admit, half of the cards I write will never be mailed out. I guess it just appeases my sense of holiday guilt for the day.

I almost bought a Christmas tree today. I have been resisting, but found the cutest 2ft tall tree. I didn't get it though, no room in the truck. Mom does not want a tree, even if she is the one buying all the damn gifts. What will she put them under???...the giant aloe plant that is taking over our living room? Part of me is resisting the old traditions of Christmas, but the other part of me wants to trim the tree, sing Christmas tunes, bake cookies. ARRRGGGHH, I am scaring myself. Martha Stewart, I am not. I don't have time for this holiday, too much to do and too little money with which to do it. The few gifts I wanted to buy I have bought through eBay...of course whether they will arrive in time is another question. I decided to tell people, it's not the date that matters, but the sentiment. HA! I am full of it, but always late with gifts, so people should be used to it.

I am ranting about Christmas because the other thoughts which are screaming through my mind at warp speed are too jumbled to discuss at the moment. My mind is far too busy (as usual) and whining about my dislike of the holidays is my way of grabbing one thought and stretching it around the others to quiet them, if even for a moment. I am tired, I want to stay in my robe and watch tv for at least three days, not dealing with anything. Can I please? Of course not, I have to face reality and be a good little member of society. I still would prefer to be antisocial and cranky for a few days. I guess a few hours at night will have to be sufficient.

Uh Oh, Mommy's mad.......................

I am screwing with the "sanctity" of Christmas. How? Well, I have made no gift requests. My Mom told me, "you better tell me what you want for Christmas, I would have been done by now if it were not for you." I DON'T WANT ANYTHING! Honestly, I am not being stubborn, but there is nothing I want my Mom to buy me. Pick something silly, something that makes you think of me...that would make me happy. I don't make lists, I do not like money being spent on me. I hate it more the older I get. Maybe it is because I don't have the money to spend on others, but I have bought my Mom some things, nothing great, just things I think she would like. Isn't that the point, not for me to make up some list of all the crap I want, but don't feel like wasting my own money on?

I want to run a marathon one day, so I want a treadmill. There! Spend $500 and get me a treadmill. WRONG! I want to buy my own treadmill, as I want to work on getting myself fit. What I truly want can not be purchased at the nearest mall, they are things I must work on myself. I want to be fit, I want to be really great at my job, I want to ride my horse like a pro, I want to bounce out of bed in the morning excited to start the day. If anyone can buy me those things....I am yours! :)

More than one's share......


I have a lot to write, yet nothing at all. I had a friend once tell me that she whole-heartedly believed that bad things happen to us in threes (three in a row). I decided part of that statement was true, but it did not have to be "bad" things, just personally dramatic events in one's life. So what happens when it is more than three? Do issues which were always present, but hidden, and seem to resurface, count? Thoughts arrive, that are not needed in a time when so much else needs to be dealt with, but BAM, there they are.

It has been a long couple weeks, this past weekend alone, seeming like a month of sleepless nights. Possibly my mental exhaustion is causing the release of pent up "mental complaints" to resurface. This is not the time, damn it! I have some very important people in my life that I need to be strong for right now, therefore giving my old personal gripes even a glimpse of daylight is unfair to me and those people. I have decided; it's the holidays....they have claimed another as far as mental strife. These are the times we learn how strong we must be and how important it is to not dwell in one's own self-pity and one's need to be selfish.

I am going to pay my last respects to someone on Saturday. Though I did not know this person as well as I had hoped, her life, her past has become very important to me. She is a link to understanding someone who I have been trying to "figure out" for so very long. Death is most definitely harder on those who are left behind, left to "live".

Cruel Woman....

Mother Nature has a sick sense of humor. She created some wild times today, from the first snowflake which fell just as my foot touched the outside this morning, to the rain, wind, sleet. thunder, lightening and white-out conditions. My afternoon commute home took a lovely 3hrs, rather than the normal one hour. Ah well, like a man ranting on the radio said, we have lived here for 20, 30, even 40yrs...should be used to it by now. I will say though, this was one of the craziest winter storms I have ever seen.

I am disappointed though, in more than just the traffic. I had plans to see someone tonight, but due to the weather, we cancelled. I would like to have kept our dinner plans, that would have made me very happy.

Three words.......

I have been thinking a lot lately about things I would like to change about myself. One of them is my fear of 3 simple words, "I love you." For some reason, my entire life I have been afraid of those words. I am not afraid of commitment, not afraid to actually love people, but those words are so hard to get out. I wish I knew why. No one in my immediate family says "I love you" to each other. We write it in cards or in letters, but even my Mom and I do not say it to each other. It just feels so awkward. I do love my Mom, and I know she loves me, there is no doubt, so why can't I say it? I do not remember if, growing up, my Dad said it to anyone in his family, so I can not say it has anything to do with him. My mom's sister and her family all say "I love you" to one another, so why won't my Mom? Don't get wrong, I have said it, but each time I do it feels so strange to me. Am I afraid the feeling will not be reciprocated? I do not believe so, each person I have said it to, I am positive loved me as well. There lies my confusion.

Natasha Bedingfield said it well in her song These Words;

"These words are my own
They're from my heart
I love you, I love you
That's all I got to say
Can't think of a better way
And that's all I got to say
I love you is that OK"

Maybe I am not sure it is ok....but being someone who loves as deeply as I do, it hurts me (as I am sure it hurts those I love) that I seem to be forcing myself to muffle out those three words. Someday I will figure it out, someday I will have my answers and not feel like a fool for telling someone how I feel.

Dazed and Confused.....

I feel like a cartoon character who was just clocked on the top of the head w/ a brick, little birdies flying in a circle over my head. If only I had been hit on the head to explain this feeling, instead I sit trying to figure it out. Could it be this cold/flu sickness that my body refuses to give up or possibly the cold medicine? Could be... Or is it the need to figure out the half-assed information given to me at work in order to do my job? Could be, but I am used to that finally. Could it be the emotional rollercoaster ride I have found myself on? I never did like rollercoasters. Give me the merry-go-round anytime.

Yesterday I stayed home almost all day (except for my 20min stint to the bank) and was perfectly happy staying in my fleece bathrobe and slippers all day. I was quite successful in supressing the feeling that I should be doing something productive with my time. I was sick dammit and I was determined to enjoy every minute of it. Today is a different story, today I am supressing the urge to hop onto the highway and just keep driving, see where I end up. It is time for an adventure, if only I could go. Christmas is coming and I would be much happier just going away and ignoring it, returning January 2nd. Happy New Year! :) People are nuts and they misplace their last set of brain cells this time of year. I find myself losing my patience while driving with imbeciles, dealing with people pushing through the mall, standing in long lines to spend money no one has. Me, my truck, my radio and the open road...how nice would that be? What happened to the days when we could travel alone and talk to strangers, without the fear of being sliced to bits by some whacko and fed to fish in a nearby pond.

I seem to have gotten off topic. I guess I just do not want to make any decisions at the moment. My job has the potential to change for the worse in January and that is worrying me. (I know, I shouldn't worry until it happens, but I need to make sure my ass is covered.) I am also thinking about selling my truck to save on gas/loan payments. I hate car shopping...well, I hate spending large amounts of money for anything. I have to decide who deserves what for Christmas.....hate shopping, never know what to buy. I did find one great gift already for someone who will not be expecting a gift, I just could not resist such a perfect find. Now if only everyone else's gifts could fall into my lap. My Mom keeps asking me what I want for Christmas, I tell her nothing. My one desire, a year off to travel around and figure out who/what I want to be when I grow up. Make it a Christmas and birthday present and 2yrs off and that would work for me. :) I am afraid I can not be like my siblings and hand "mommy" a 3-page list of crap I really don't need. I suppose it is not my business, it makes her happy to be able to get them what they want, even if the ingrates don't say thank you and they make her return half of the gifts because they aren't quite right. Doh! Did I say that? Nothing like one big happy family. :)

Insane in the membrane......

I stayed home sick today from work, it is safe at home, no loony people to bug me. Well, as I did not want to do absolutely nothing productive today, I decided to go the bank and close my account that I have not used (and got charged $12 for lack of use....bitter? Why yes.). Anyway, on the way, I saw a young man I met once at a party. He works down the street and I am sure does not remember me, as he was quite drunk. I do remember he offered to give me his car (a mustang) for free, but he had to come too, package deal. I declined, seemed a bit steep for me. Yep, I am mean. This guy was standing next to his truck with the door open in the "taking a leak" stance. Being a brat and knowing what a horny young man he is, I decided to slow down, roll down my window and wave (with a nice smile of course). Being the "gentleman" he is, the guy had to "drop what he was doing" and wave back to me. Oh yes, I saw it. Haaa. But I must give a "big" shout out....not bad. I know....fresh, fresh, fresh. :)

When I got to the bank, I wandered over to customer service and was assisted by a very odd man. I do not think I am imagining things to say that by the time we were done with my transaction, this man had me mentally naked and covered with honey (or whatever other fetish he may have). I have never had someone "ick" me out like this guy did. The tone of his voice and the way he was looking at me caused me to zip up my jacket a bit further and pull down my hat. UUGGHH. Anyway, I did get my money and thank goodness, that bank is seemingly full of workers who hatched from alient pods!

Other than his perverse mannerisms which made me squirm, this bank employee also had a "growth" of some sort on his nose. It was more than a pimple, it was begging to be sliced off! This is the second person in a few days that I have seen with such a growth. The other was a waiter in a restaurant, with one on his neck. A doctor with a 5ft needle needs to "take a stab" at those things. Yuck. It reminded me of an X-Files episode in which people had growths on their bodies which would fester and then BURST all over someone, causing them to get this horrible disease. Where are Mulder and Scully when you need them? "I am frightened Aunty Em, I am frightened."

Wizard of Oz....it was on the other night, couldn't resist using it. :)

The post title comes from the fact that after my odd banking experience, I got into my car, turned on the radio and the song, "Insane in the Membrane" began to play. I believe after recent events, it was quite appropriate...if not eerie for that to be playing. Some guy left that CD in my car....he makes me insane in the membrane. I think it was a cruel joke. :P

TMI......................

All I kept thinking last night at the party was "too much information....too much information." I have a vivid imagination and can picture most events people describe, I DO NOT want to picture the 1 1/2 minute sexual escapes of a 22yr old girl and her boyfriend. eeeeyyuuu. Now don't get me wrong, kudos to you both if the two of you can get off in that span of time, but I am not sure I would brag about one and a half minutes. I have also been a barn manager and instructor for so long with young students (normally under 18yrs), that I have it set in my head that I am too old to hear about their sex lives.

It definitely was a night of honesty, and we did laugh quite a bit. My face was hurting after only an hour. It struck me at how fast a few of the people got so drunk. I didn't even see them drinking. Thank goodness no angry drunks, that is never fun....but loud....oh so loud. It was amazing how each subject brought up ended in the gutter. Just the mentioning of being a vegetarian lead to who enjoys "meat". I am sure everyone can imagine what the group was talking about.

Like I said to the hostess, "there is not enough beer in the cooler....."

Procrastination....

4:45pm and I am supposed to be at a party in an hour, so what am I doing.....sitting in my computer chair in a towel (just took my shower) and blogging. I have food to prepare and clothes to find, but again find myself feeling antisocial and preferring to go back to bed and watch terrible old movies on the USA network. I know that once I get there, I will have some laughs, but I am so lazy about actually going. It is terrible, as I hate staying home when I could be out having a good time. Damn head-cold and frigid weather is not helping my enthusiasm.

Tonight should be interesting as everyone coming is quite different. The only thing we all have in common is the fact that we all board at the same stable. Horse people are nuts! The hostess is fantastic, not your typical stable owner/instructor. She is a great lady, tons of fun. Kevyn is coming too, thank goodness. He is a hoot and should make tonight amusing. The rest of the group is good, nice people, just very different personalities. I am very interested to see how everyone gets along. A few of the newer girls are bringing their boyfriends, that always make it interesting (a group of non-horse men sitting around trying to look interested in all the horse-talk). I do enjoy "people-watching". Ah well, guess I best get dressed and get ready to see what comes about tonight.

Pour me a beer, it's going to be a long night. :)

"We, as a species, have fallen off our rocker."

A friend of mine wrote that to me after I sent her the following link, so I just had to share it.

http://www.venganza.org/

I found this quite amusing and it certainly does prove a point. A group of people have started the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in response to the growing number of communities in the US requesting that "Divine Intelligence" (the theory that the Earth was created by "God") be taught in public schools, along with the "Theory of Evolution". Without getting into the politics of it all (because I avoid talk of politics most of the time, except with close friends), I would like to know what happened to the separation of church and state. The theory of evolution is science based, therefore as part of scientific study, we should learn it in school. The concept that God created all is based on religious beliefs and should remain in the church and church run institutions. I had a good friend in college (in the biology program, no less) who grew up in a very religious family and did not believe in evolution. I completely respect her beliefs, though the concept is beyond me as a scientific intellectual. I believe in plenty of concepts that can not yet be proven, such as ghosts, living beings in outer space and ESP, but I think eventually those concepts will all be proven to be true. How does one prove there is some "being" watching us, that one day decided to create all life? I would like more than stories written in books as proof.

But I digress, I do not want to start a religious debate. I simply am amused and amazed at the lengths people will go through to prove a point. Some people are completely closed-minded, therefore steps such as this one (which seem absolutely insane) can be necessary to make people think.

Morally reprehensible......

Why does that phrase make me chuckle every time I hear it? Probably because I hear it more and more each day, and with each time, the cause of such verbage is so silly. Today I was listening to Kiss108 morning show "Matty in the Morning" and they had a lingerie store owner, Felicia Stockford, from Augusta, Maine on to talk about why she is the big news in Maine right now. She sells "functional" lingerie at Spellbound. The leather corsets and fishnet stockings make quite the outfit and her volunteer models top it off with whips. The trouble people are having with the store is that the live models stand in the store window all day. There is no nudity, no laws are being broken, but some residence of the area are upset about it. This new idea has brought business to the area, so where is the problem? If you do not like to see women in lingerie...don't look at them. They are not yelling to people or doing anything to call attention to themselves, just standing in a window showing off some lovely attire. I am sure my mom would say that they are demeaning women by doing this, but I believe the only people being demeaned are the men who walk into telephone poles or street signs because they are too busy gawking to pay attention to where they walk. haaaa

Bill Costa of "Matty in the Morning" certainly didn't mind the lady in lingerie, even with a whip around his neck.

http://www.mattyinthemorning.com/main.html

Research he called it....I would like to see a report on why he requested to get on all fours and what he was feeling to cause such a facial expression. The photo will most likely be pulled from the website at some point tomorrow by the owners of the station, but for now, it is quite the picture. Good to see so much enjoyment, despite how " inappropriate" it may be. haaaa