And so it ends......
One more day and 2005 is over. Just another year. I was listening to the radio this morning and the DJ was talking about how he always hears people say "this past year sucked, next year will be better". He has never heard anyone say, "this was a great year, wish it wouldn't end". I think he is right, I have never heard that myself. So what does that mean? Are our expectations too high? I wonder.
I sit and contemplate what the next year will bring. When I was young, I pretty much knew what I would be doing in the coming months, but as we leave the protective halls of our schools and parents' homes, our immediate futures are not so certain. I have decided trying to guess what I will do and where I will be is a waste of time, I am no prophet. I am now left with the desire to figure out what I would like to do and where I would like to be at the end of 2006. I am not sure. Actually, I have no idea. Is that a problem? Am I a messed up person because of it? I will be 29 years old in less than a month....should I have the answers by now? When I was just turning 20 I thought I would know, but alas, time flies when you are not coming up with a game plan for life. I have done pretty well so far. I have tried a few different jobs, crossed off a few "things to do before I die" off the list and have learned a lot from many different people. I have a good job with good people, though it is a bit boring for me and I would like more. What I want to do for a living is another decision which is up in the air at the moment. I also can not decide where I want to live. I have a nice home, but Massachusetts is not for me. It is too cold in the winter and too crowded all year round. Where do I want to go? I wish I knew. I need warm, dry air, lots of land, mountains and ocean water near by. So far, I can not seem to find it all in one place. If only I could travel, one home for winter, one for summer. Haa, time to win the lottery.
There are of course the old "staple" questions.....Do I want to get married? Do I want to have children some day? I hate that those questions seem to have so much importance in society, as though if I put my other life decisions ahead of them, I will somehow be a failure. My hope is that with my coming to some sort of revelation about who I am and what I want in life, the rest will fall into place and I will not have to make "love" part of a decision, but just go with it.
One more day and 2005 is over. Just another year. I was listening to the radio this morning and the DJ was talking about how he always hears people say "this past year sucked, next year will be better". He has never heard anyone say, "this was a great year, wish it wouldn't end". I think he is right, I have never heard that myself. So what does that mean? Are our expectations too high? I wonder.
I sit and contemplate what the next year will bring. When I was young, I pretty much knew what I would be doing in the coming months, but as we leave the protective halls of our schools and parents' homes, our immediate futures are not so certain. I have decided trying to guess what I will do and where I will be is a waste of time, I am no prophet. I am now left with the desire to figure out what I would like to do and where I would like to be at the end of 2006. I am not sure. Actually, I have no idea. Is that a problem? Am I a messed up person because of it? I will be 29 years old in less than a month....should I have the answers by now? When I was just turning 20 I thought I would know, but alas, time flies when you are not coming up with a game plan for life. I have done pretty well so far. I have tried a few different jobs, crossed off a few "things to do before I die" off the list and have learned a lot from many different people. I have a good job with good people, though it is a bit boring for me and I would like more. What I want to do for a living is another decision which is up in the air at the moment. I also can not decide where I want to live. I have a nice home, but Massachusetts is not for me. It is too cold in the winter and too crowded all year round. Where do I want to go? I wish I knew. I need warm, dry air, lots of land, mountains and ocean water near by. So far, I can not seem to find it all in one place. If only I could travel, one home for winter, one for summer. Haa, time to win the lottery.
There are of course the old "staple" questions.....Do I want to get married? Do I want to have children some day? I hate that those questions seem to have so much importance in society, as though if I put my other life decisions ahead of them, I will somehow be a failure. My hope is that with my coming to some sort of revelation about who I am and what I want in life, the rest will fall into place and I will not have to make "love" part of a decision, but just go with it.
posted by Cairde @ 2:23 PM
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