A veil of darkness....

I am feeling extremely inadequate at the moment, as a caring, helpful person. Though it may sound selfish or somewhat self-concerning, I am angry with myself for not knowing how to help someone I care about through a tough time. I find myself sitting and waiting to be called on, all the while feeling like I am losing some battle I do not know how to fight. The desire to constantly call and ask if this person is doing ok is sometimes overwhelming, but I know it is not the right action to take. I am here, I am waiting, I am concerned....I guess this is the best I can do right now.

I find it so hard to be helpful in situations I can not fully understand. I try so hard, but as I can not say "I understand how you feel", I wonder if I am at all a benefit. My friends tell me, just be there, quietly make your presence known. I love too much to be "quiet" about anything. I have been told I try too hard to fix other people's problems, and maybe I do. If anything, I spend too much time worrying about the issues at hand, making myself less useful because my mind spins with concern.

I feel lost, but I am here. My fears are ready to be pushed aside, shoved into a corner. I must make room to consume whatever thoughts, emotions, or concerns that are shared with me. I am open, I am ready.........I am waiting.