OUCH!

You know that pain the begins at one of the temples in one's head and then spreads into one's brain, bringing out the worst moods imaginable??? Well, guess what! I started off this day in pretty good spirits, despite being naggingly tired. I then got to work to find everyone would be out in the field again and I would be alone. That's fine, I listen to my radio, sing as much as I want and wander to the bathroom as many times as I want without worrying someone is thinking I have a bladder problem. (I drink a lot of water.) The trouble is when they are not here, I tend to find more mistakes they have made, whether by accident or on purpose. Hence, the striking tension headache which causes me to want to shut off the lights, crawl under my desk, put my head in my hands and just sit for a few hours. This way I can't see when an e-mail arrives questioning what we are thinking down in this office and I can block the ring of the phones from my ears. I will admit I do not have much to do throughout the day, but what work I do have tends to cause more aggravation than is necessary I work for a little Field Service office, but the eye of Corporate is always watching, waiting to break out that nail-laiden ruler with which to slap me on the hands. Ah well, I am getting quicker at pulling my hands away and covering my ass.

I take on more than I should at work, I can not help it. Once I am told what should be done, I will get it done, no matter how much trouble I have to go through. Don't get me wrong, I have learned many a shortcut, but in the end everything is done and the trail is clean. I seem to have the same trouble at the barn at night. Last night I was asked what to do about one of the horses, who had cut his leg. If he were my horse, I would be washing the leg and wrapping it, as well as giving him some anti-inflammatories.....but he isn't my horse. I asked if his owner has come down to see him since hearing of "her baby's" injury, but alas, no...no time. In my beginning days managing this barn, I would have just taken over, used my own supplies to care for this horse, and spent time that I should have spent with my own horse, but not any more. Granted, if the cut had been so bad as to need immediate treatment, I would "grin and bear it" and treat the wound, but this was not life-threatening, just something that needed some attention. I shot some meds down his throat, made some suggestions and moved on to my own work. Carol saw I was not going to cover for another lazy owner this time, so she wrapped the leg (with my wraps) and cleaned him up. She is good and kind, I am bitter and tired. My mares have had cuts, but no one cleans them up, no one uses their personal bandages to wrap my horses' legs. I am expected to be there and take care of it all myself, which I do. Sometimes I get tired of expectations, sometimes I want to be the lazy one who just doesn't do what I am counted on to accomplish. I do slack off on some areas of my life, but the important matters are completed. So these are the perils of being responsible I guess...... I don't recall signing anything agreeing to grow up damn it!!! :P