More than one's share......


I have a lot to write, yet nothing at all. I had a friend once tell me that she whole-heartedly believed that bad things happen to us in threes (three in a row). I decided part of that statement was true, but it did not have to be "bad" things, just personally dramatic events in one's life. So what happens when it is more than three? Do issues which were always present, but hidden, and seem to resurface, count? Thoughts arrive, that are not needed in a time when so much else needs to be dealt with, but BAM, there they are.

It has been a long couple weeks, this past weekend alone, seeming like a month of sleepless nights. Possibly my mental exhaustion is causing the release of pent up "mental complaints" to resurface. This is not the time, damn it! I have some very important people in my life that I need to be strong for right now, therefore giving my old personal gripes even a glimpse of daylight is unfair to me and those people. I have decided; it's the holidays....they have claimed another as far as mental strife. These are the times we learn how strong we must be and how important it is to not dwell in one's own self-pity and one's need to be selfish.

I am going to pay my last respects to someone on Saturday. Though I did not know this person as well as I had hoped, her life, her past has become very important to me. She is a link to understanding someone who I have been trying to "figure out" for so very long. Death is most definitely harder on those who are left behind, left to "live".