A Terribly Vicious Cycle

Washing one’s face should be a simple task, as should taking the carton of milk from the fridge…should it not? It isn’t for me at the moment. The slight bend and twist of my back causing a sharp, knee buckling pain to shoot into my back, making a clean face or glass of milk seem not to worth the effort.

I am very frustrated about my back. I get up at the ass-crack of dawn every morning, adjust my hip, do my crunches, stretch and then get on the treadmill for a strenuous workout, hoping to strengthen and support my lower back. I can see a difference in my appearance, I was beginning to think it was working and BAM! The pain this week has been verging on unbearable. I walk with the limp of an 85yr old after hip replacement surgery. I have to stand with my legs spread far apart, leaning against the sink to brush my teeth or wash my face. I go to bed with the heating pad under my back, hoping to melt the pain away.

I know that my state of mind is one contributing factor to my back pain, like it can be for many of our ailments. Unlike some people who carry one’s stress or upset in their stomach via digestive problems or in one’s head via migraine headaches, I carry my mental and emotional pains in my back. I get stressed, I get tight and I pull everything out of whack, making it very hard to get back into alignment. The trouble is, the more my back bothers me, the more I worry myself…which in turn makes the back issues worsen. Lovely circle of events, eh? I know that I need to go see Dr. Crankinpuss, he can adjust my back and get everything in the right direction, but do I want to pay him all that money for 5 minutes of insults and 2 minutes of adjustment? I should not complain. He is a very good doctor and knows exactly what he is doing and talking about when it comes to muscle issues, but he is such a dick. He will tell me to stop stressing and work harder. The last time I went in, he told me to bring my running sneakers so he could have me use his treadmill and make sure I know how to jog correctly. I think I have figured out how to control my body to run properly, but I am sure he will find something I do incorrectly on which he will comment amd frankly, I am in no mood lately for anymore insults or criticisms. I suppose I will have to just get over it, bow down my head and ask the condescending genius for some help. Oh Joy.