Fight or Flight….

In Biology class, I was taught that humans are fight animals, like dogs, cats or other animals that will stand and fight when faced with opposition, unlike flight animals such as most birds or squirrels or horses, animals that will run to preserve their existence. I believe that as a collective human race, this is true, but as individuals, even when we are seemingly fighting, we could, in reality, be running from some opposition, some attack, whether mental or physical.

The manner in which one runs will vary from person to person. For example our minds make up an alternate truth to our current reality, changing events or placing blame on someone else so as to avoid facing actual problems. Many times I have tried to figure out what would make me ultimately happy in life, and I believe that absolving myself of fear of living is the answer. I would like to remove my fear of hurting others, my fear of making mistakes, my fear of being wrong…my fear of failure. I think it would be easier sometimes to face a gang of monsters than to face myself after a potential failure. How many people can honestly say they do not fear failure? I know many people who would claim that their lives are not suspended by fear, and maybe it is true, but I believe in many cases, the opposite is true. The older I get, I have learned that I can face my fears, one at a time. Even when I am not successful in an endeavor, I learn something and can possibly try again, accomplishing more than I originally thought was possible.

For many years, I have tried to keep an open mind and accept others for who they are, and try to understand why some people do what they do or believe what they believe, but what about me? I do not believe I am very open-minded when it comes to judging myself. Each of us is truly his/her own toughest critic. When something goes wrong because of some decision I have made, my mind is hard on me…”why did you do that, what is wrong with you?” If I sit back and watch myself, as if another person, I think, “at least you are trying, nobody’s perfect.” If only we could see ourselves through someone else’s eyes. A mother who believes she isn’t giving her child enough needs to see herself through her child’s eyes. A husband who believes his is a disappointed needs to see himself through his wife’s loving eyes. One can only tell another so many times that the other can accomplish his/her goals, can be great, but there is no way to force someone to believe. Dealing with life in today’s world is hard enough; I certainly do not have to make life more difficult by punishing myself via harsh personal judgments. I need an open mind, an open heart and a strong will, with all these traits, my fears will slowly diminish and no longer keep me from experiencing all life has to offer.