.......................

I fought with someone I love very much tonight and I left angrier than I have been in a long time. I then had my brakes go haywire (as they tend to do in the rain) and slid thru an intersection, nearly getting creamed by a larger truck. My anger was then accompanied by extreme fear.

I was lucky tonight. Not only did I manage to avoid getting into an accident (probably caused by my own stupidity), but I calmed my anger much easier than I thought I ever could. I hate being angry, I hate losing my temper. I have a terrible temper, and it can be difficult to calm myself. In the past, the worst thing I could do when extremely upset, was to go see my horses because they sense my high emotions and react against it (normally making it worse). Tonight I decided to just sit and watch them, keeping a respectful distance. I watched Capall eat her hay and as my rage subsided, she began to acknowledge my presence and eventually came over to greet me. She will not come to me when I am upset, she is as sensitive as I am and will avoid me. It felt good to have her rub her head on me (even if she was just using me as her personal scratching post). I then noticed Moxie, he was pawing his stall and circling with a look of distress. I checked his stall and the bedding was quite low. I went and got a bag of shavings and put them in the middle of his stall, where he proceeded to roll around (itching himself). When he was done, he came to me, and made a gesture I can only interpret as thanks.

For once, I let them quiet me. Carol always says, "it is amazing what the outside of a horse can do for the inside of a human". This statement is true and I realized that more than ever this evening....so I am thankful.