On A Roll

Two, three, four strikes?? I lost count. Am I out yet? Christ..seems I have fucked up more in the past few weeks than one should seemingly be meant to in a year. I am turning corners constantly and smashing into a stone wall. My sense of mental direction (decision-making skill) SUCKS! The concept of just doing is not working out for me, the consequences have been a bit too daunting for me to take. Sometimes life just seems to short to stop and think about what to do and sometimes I just do not give a shit. Is there a happy medium???

On a more positive note, my friend Nicky is on a good path. He is home and bravely dealing with his chemo treatments. I have confidence he will prevail over this cruel disease, Nicky is one of the most courageous people I know.

The fourth of July holiday is quickly approaching. I will have a much needed four day weekend. My only tentative plan is to go to dinner with Ka and visit Nicky. Also, on the 4th, my Aunt is having her annual cookout. The same old faces I have seen since I was very young will be attending, but that's fine with me. I will enjoy seeing my family, as I do not see them nearly as much as I should or would like. It is another case of watching myself let something important pass by with time, all the while knowing I will regret it later. Why don't I see my family more? I guess "life" seems to get in the way. I believe, however, that I would be more able to live if I was better connected with those who are most important to me. Maybe that is the point of holidays, to bring people together who should be together more, but let daily routines get in the way.