Bugs Bite!

I was recently the not-so-lucky winner of a deer tick bite on my hip. After hopping out of the shower at the lovely hour of 6:00am, I scratched my hip, only to discover a tiny tick had been there and was now on my finger. Having a bit of blood-sucker-phobia, I tossed the little sucker into the toilet and flushed him. I was later informed that I was supposed to save my little hitchhiker for later examination at the doctors. I am afraid that the last thing I think to do after removing a tick from my flesh is put him in a jar and save him for some laboratory fun.

I placed a band-aide on the wound for a couple of days with my favorite Neosporin with Pain Killer in it and kept an eye on the mark. Tuesday, the tiny red mark decided to swell and grow to the size of a dime, therefore prompting my friends and co-workers to excitedly encourage me to call the doctor. The nurse then asked me about my symptoms;

Nurse: "Do you have stiff joints or muscles?"
Me: "Um, yes, every day of my life."
Nurse: "Oh, ok. Do you have a headache?"
Me: "I work for Corporate Cocksuckers (well, insert actual company name here), of course I have a headache."
Nurse: *Chuckle* "Well, how about a fever?"
Me: "Well that I do not have."

The nurse wanted me to see a doctor ASAP, but Doc Lady could not see my that day, so I made an appointment for Wednesday morning. I arrived three minutes before my scheduled appointment, not in much of a hurry, as the receptionist had informed me when the appointment was made that Doc was double-booked and I should bring a FAT book. There were two thoroughly obnoxious children, waiting with their mother, who enjoyed “entertaining” everyone for the first hour of my wait. After they finally exited the waiting room (during which I nearly jumped out of my seat with applause that they were leaving), I picked up the only two magazines in the area….one being an African American magazine with articles about how to satisfy your Black Man or which current rappers are currently angry with Oprah for not having them on her show. The other magazine was one about various muscle cars…..like I don’t know all that information already. HAAA

After a thoroughly tedious two-hour wait for the nurse to call me in, I was finally escorted to the exam room. The nurse asked me why I was here and what I thought might happen because a tick bit me. Let’s see now…deer tick, red rash….Google it! Lyme Disease Nurse-lady! After examining my bite for herself, she left me in the room to await Doc Lady, who arrived 25 minutes later. I think I read every jar, sign and piece of equipment in that room 10 times and was very close to going through the cabinets when she finally showed up

Doc Lady drew me some lovely pictures of different ticks and I was asked to choose my matching tick. I passed with flying colors after already saying it was a deer tick. I then explained that my concern lies in the fact that I am living in a wooded area and my dog has lyme disease, so it is around. The rash did not appear to be a typical Lyme rash, so she gave me my options. I could watch the rash and hope it does not get worse. I could take one dose of antibiotics to nip any possible infection in the bud, or I could take 21 days of antibiotics. The trouble with these meds….they cause stomach upset and severe stomach ulcers. So let me see…decision time….wait and risk permanent damage to my joints and liver, take one dose and at least feel a bit like I tried, or take the full 21 day dosage and risk serious stomach issues. I am afraid I have enough issues with stiff muscles and joints and I am all set with bleeding out my belly button…so I went with the one dose and some wait and watch time. Hell of a group of choices, eh?
So, here I am. Welt is still there, but I feel ok. Took my dose of meds and now have something in common with Isis, my poor Lyme infected pup. I figure with all the mosquitoes sucking my blood at night, I can hope they take the bad Lyme blood while they are giving me West Nile or Equine Encephalitis. Good times!