She's Baaack

Well, I am back from St. Petersburg/Tampa, Florida. It is lovely down there, anywhere I can see the ocean is great. The weather was lovely, the sand felt marvelous under my feet, the birds were gorgeous (except the laughing gulls<----annoying beasts), I met some nice people...but I was definitely ready to be home!

I will have my pics ready to post this weekend and will describe all the fun, from a nice relaxing walk along the waterfront, to a stroll around Busch Gardens, to the not-so-fun attempt at going to Clearwater Beach and getting into an accident. No worries, we are ok, but that was an abrupt, depressing early end to our vacation. :(

As hard as I tried to be engulfed by the winds of the Gulf of Mexico and forget about the decisions to which I had to come home, it was impossible. I have to either be selfish and let something I love dearly go or sacrifice some of myself and my Capall for another. Lilac Domino is going to be leaving me. She is the older grey mare I have loved and cared about for the past three years. Her owner can not afford to keep her with me anymore and I can not afford to take her as my own. They offered to pay me a certain amount that would cover some of Lilac's costs each month, but I would inevitably be caring for her and doing a lot of extra work for free. I love Lilac and even as I write these thoughts, my heart breaks, but how can I justify my not spending that extra time with Capall, my own horse, to take care of another horse that I don't own. I am frightened for Lilac, she needs the extra attention I give her, but she will not get it where she is going. I have seen pictures of where she will be moving, it is an enormous, lovely farm in upstate New York. She will be turned out with the other old horses in a huge field, but that is it. No one will put her special boots on, make sure her blankets are perfect, give her the special feed supplements, wash her legs, check her melanomas and make sure they aren't interferring with her digestion or breathing. I do not want her to leave, she is so happy, but then I look at my little painted mare standing in the field, not groomed or even petted in days...she deserves her time of someone loving her. I have to think of the time I need to enjoy myself, to enjoy my horse. I can't worry about Lilac.....I wish I would stop crying.