Stifle It????

I sent an email today I am not sure I should have sent. Part of me wishes I could unsend it, but why? I was not hurtful, not dishonest, I simply stated what I believe to be true. The original thought behind the letter came about in anger, but I was not angry when I started writing, simply contemplative. I think writing my blogs brings about a bit of brutal honestly, which is why I do my best to make them very general, not mentioning specifics. I never like to upset people, sometimes I am too nice, too complacent. Writing helps me be more truthful, even if it is just for myself.

Admittedly, I am not good about just letting things go, accepting without question and moving on. I do not see how anything can be learned or resolved if one just "lets it slide." I had that problem with a man I dated for 5 years. He was a great guy, very kind to me, but if we argued, he wanted to just cooldown and forget about it, not continue the discussion. I think this made me more angry than the original argument and became one of the reasons I had to give up on someone I loved so dearly. I really did love him, more than he could know, but my need for closure made him very frustrated. Causing him unhappiness was not a goal of mine, but I wanted to resolve our problems so they would not resurface. This man was not a talker, he acted on physical and emotional stimuli, not on mental. I am not saying he was unintelligent, but his mind worked quite differently than mine does, which made some disagreements impossible to resolve. I am fine with "we'll talk about it later" as long as it actually happens. I am very good (maybe too good) at walking away from an argument, but I do come back when all is calmer. I suppose I need to learn to "pick my battles" and accept that sometimes resolution will not come. Who am I kidding?? That is not going to happen. I want the facts, I want the truth, I want my closure! Am I selfish? Maybe. I simply want to have trust and understanding between myself and those around me.