The Rumor Mill - Up and Running
There is a rumor floating around my office that there might be something “going on” between myself and one of the foreman. How does one say there is a better chance that I will find religion and join a convent than this man and I having any relationship outside of work? Don’t get me wrong, he is a nice guy, but a bit more than tweaked in the head. Some of the stories that he has told about past relationships would make anyone, other than the oddest of women, run for the hills! I have told everyone here I do not date people with whom I work, but apparently he does not think this concept applies to him. After spending 15minutes last week trying to get him to back away from car so I could leave, I am told he came into the office and bitched at one of my coworkers for telling me things that this man has told the other guys about his past. What?! Am I deaf? I can’t hear them all talking in the next room? I do not need to hear any stories…the answer is NO.
I guess I am too nice and have to be a bit more blunt than saying “get away from me, you freaking pervert” and outright tell this character to stop asking me out and stop talking to the others about me. I do not want someone lurking behind me in a doorway sniffing my hair while I talk to one of the specialists. Doing that and then telling me my hair smells nice is NOT a compliment! I do not want someone telling the other guys that he is sure I am a lot wilder than I “pretend” to be. I am not wild at work, and that is all that should matter to any of them. It is time to handle this little problem….
All I can say is eeeewwwwww! I think I need to go shower now!
I guess I am too nice and have to be a bit more blunt than saying “get away from me, you freaking pervert” and outright tell this character to stop asking me out and stop talking to the others about me. I do not want someone lurking behind me in a doorway sniffing my hair while I talk to one of the specialists. Doing that and then telling me my hair smells nice is NOT a compliment! I do not want someone telling the other guys that he is sure I am a lot wilder than I “pretend” to be. I am not wild at work, and that is all that should matter to any of them. It is time to handle this little problem….
All I can say is eeeewwwwww! I think I need to go shower now!
posted by Cairde @ 1:41 PM
6 Comments:
At 3:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
OMG! I have something similar at my work. This man makes comments that I don't think are suitable for the work environment. I am standing at work the other day and this guy makes the "curves" gesture with his hands. He says, "You look slimmer. What ya been doing?" If it came from ANY other man... I would have been flattered. However, coming out of this particular man's mouth.. it was quit repulsive!!! All I have to say is "EWWWW" too!
At 4:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
That is just so wrong! Definitely repulsive! I know I can't talk you into the whole whistle-blowing thing, but howz about a sexual harassment complaint!?!
I'll third that "EWWWW"
At 6:27 PM,
Ryann said…
being nice is overrated.
I dunno, these things can be messy. sometimes all you need to do is turn it around on him. make him uncomfortable and objetified...
"I would love you go out with you, but I don't have time to train another animal right now"
in front of a group of coworkers, "I heard you had a small dick"
or the simple, "I'm in love with my ex, but he's in the marines."
"trust me, I would destroy you. take your ego, walk away"
depends on the desired result... but confident, sarcastic abuse can often make a point.
good luck.
At 8:51 AM,
Cairde said…
LOL, thanks for the suggestions Ryann. Trouble is, I have tried being sarcastic, rude and insulting and it seems to turn him on even more. He says I am a little spitfire in need of taming. Again...EEEWWWWW!
At 2:10 PM,
zozosma said…
um. that's sexual harrassment. if you've said no, i'm not interested that should be the end of story.
it is not cool that you have to spend 15 minutes getting him to move so you can leave. that's wrong. you need to speak w/ a boss/supervisor (preferably HR) and tell them what is going on and that it makes you uncomfortable.
don't wait until he does something more that you really don't like. i've had this situation and confronting him didn't help. it had gone on too long and he was the type that took my saying "no" and "quit it" like it was some game. some men (and women) are thick and stubborn and willfully ignorant and agressive like that.
you need to speak with someone at the office who you can confide in and the highest up. clear this up now.
nobody wants to get someone fired for asking them out. but when a person can't take an outright "no, i'm not interested" and get the point, then...obviously he needs someone higher up telling him to back the f*ck off.
it needs to be handled delicately, and you shouldn't have to be worried about telling someone you're not interested and having them go nutjob on you. but this is one of those instances as a woman in the workplace where some guys don't respect it when you tell them you don't want anything more than a working relationship.
if you can't get the point across to him, and soon, and have him leave you alone...then you do need to go to someone who he'll listen to that he needs to back off. if all that fails...call me, i know some guys ;)
look after yourself.
At 2:16 PM,
zozosma said…
ps. maybe you can suggest that he needs a refresher course on what sexual harrassment in the workplace means and ask him if he wants you to call up and make an appointment to have him in a review session.
unless he's just one of those cromagnon knuckle-dragger types that seem like that direct threat via comment would make him get aggressive and do something like wait for you outside one day -again.
but that sort of behavior is unprofessional, aggressive, inappropriate for anywhere let alone a workplace and it's troublesome. it definitely needs to be nipped in the bud (or his buds if need be -pointy toed boots perhaps?)
point is, if that SOB messes with you i will personally drive out there and make his life hell.
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