Played

I am so tired, my mind so exhausted that it is unable to move my body. I have tried to turn my mind to some thoughts that will inspire me, but other than the 20 minute burst of energy I had at the barn this morning, I just want to lie on the floor and not move.

Nicky has lung cancer. I was told not to tell anyone, but figure this venue is safe because I am not close enough to fellow employees to give them insight into my blog. His family does not want many people to know at this time, I understand. I do not know what to do, I do not know what to say. Mom keeps saying, "he is young, they can do surgery and remove the tumor." I hope she is right.

This is a long weekend, due to the Memorial Day holiday. I just hope three days is enough time to pull myself together and return to the daily grind as if nothing is wrong. I am not good at pretending, but I will try. I can laugh at jokes, chat with the guys, but my eyes won't lie. It seems a constant tear lingers, no matter what I do. My tears will not save Nicky, but they will remain until I know he is our of pain....one way or another.