Delete Nick?

If only it did not seem to make sense...

I was adding a new phone number to my cell phone, and decided to go through the phonebook and delete those numbers which I no longer would need. I came across Nick's entry. For a split second, it was just the act of erasing a number I would never again call, but as the question "Delete Nick?" came up, a wave of nausea flowed through my body. I would not need that number in my phone any longer. It will never again show up as an incoming or missed call, I will never again have a message from "Oscar" saying hello to his "Grundgetta". Though it makes perfect sense, the last thing I wanted to do was answer "yes" to that question.

Though I go through my day without mentioning his name and for the most part am able to stifle the tears that seem to lurk in my eyes, Nicky never leaves my mind. It is these simple reminders that bring him to the forefront of my thoughts. I can not help but think of him. Just the name of my company reminds me of my friend. He was the first person to make me feel at home, one of the only reasons I did not give in to the fears of corporate life and quit in the first month. Five years later he is gone, and no matter how much time passes, the concept of having lost Nick still seems impossible to fathom.

Needing to escape the office, and try to maintain some composure for the day, I went to the water. I walked along the ocean, trying to enjoy the beautiful birds and the smell of the salt water. The low hum of the tanks and refineries across the water was still present, but I did my best to forget where I was. As I looked up at the sky, wishing I could talk to my friend again, I noticed how unreal the clouds looked. If I saw a picture of this very scene, I would have sworn it was a painting. The clouds seemed too fluid and pronounced to not have been painted by some great artist. I wish I had my camera, but again, I left it at home. I was brought back to my childhood, when I would looking into paintings of the seashore and the sky and wished I could just walk into the painting. Where would I be? Would the past few months be merely a dream in this new place? Where is the wardrobe closet that will lead to my Narnia? This place of dreams will simply need to continue to exist only in my mind, but I am glad it still does. I would be lost without an imagination to turn to, if only for a few brief moments while staring at the sky.