Graduation or Expulsion?

I just returned from another thrilling visit with Dr. Crankinpuss, my chiropractor and apparently it was my last one. Now I have felt a bit better about my back, not as many episodes of searing pain knocking me to the floor, no more waking up in pain and my right hip only drops about 1/2 inch rather than the wonderous 3-4inches it has in the past. I was hoping that my Dr. House wannabe (you would have to have seen the show) would tell me I have made progress and he is so proud (yeah right!), but instead he asked what I had been doing with my time and proceeded to tell me it wasn't enough. I am still weak, still falling apart and need to get myself into gear.

My official diagnosis; I am lacking in gluteus maximus, in other words, this baby ain't got no back! The 1/2 hr every night at 4mph is not enough. That is, according to doc, the pace of a 60-70 year old woman. I should be alternating between 4 and 5mph minimum for my half hour. Now Mom only goes about 3mph...I told her she is well over 100 and practically dead per his time frame. After telling me I need to pick up the pace in order to grow some butt and hold myself together, Doc proceeded to make up a little tune.."the girl needs a butt, the girl needs a butt" and sang it as he walked back towards a waiting room full of patients. Oh yes, the joy of knowing everyone stared at my ass as I walked out of the office....FANTASTIC!. :(

After coughing up the $55 for my 5 minute insult session, I asked if I should have another appointment, but no...he doesn't want to see me again. So, do I take that as "yes, you've improved, I am just too much of a prick to tell you that directly" or "I am sick of seeing you and your non-existent tookus"? I am going to take it as I am getting better (just not fast enough) and I will be saving my sorry ass the $55 each month and the torture of this brilliant professional making up songs about my flat toosh. Yahoo, pop the champagne!