What have you learned lately????

Let's see now....I have learned that life is almost too much to handle at times, but there is no choice but to go on and prevail. With dignity? Nope, not always, but damned if I don't try.

As of late, I have tried to absorb as much knowledge about myself as I can, to push aside the bullshit and the emotional baggage that can cloud the truth and get to who I really am and want to be. I want to be strong, but not lose the softness that allows me to love with all my being. I refuse to let the bitterness of the human existence consume or control me. Admittedly, I have given myself up in order to acquiesce to the needs of those around me. It is now going to have to be "all about me." This isn't going to be easy, I am not really good at making life about me, but I deserve it and am going to try my hardest to find that fun-loving goofball that people love so much....that I love so much.

What else have I learned? I have learned there is nothing "mental" about loving someone. When love becomes mental, then it is in danger of being no more. One's heart is a powerful thing and can overcome the mind. I sometimes think that can be a bad thing, but to truly love someone, it is important to be able to almost "shut" one's mind off and just feel. I think this is why I can be so passionate when I really care for someone. Sadly enough, eventually it's time to turn the mind back on and put a "cork" on the emotions and do what is best for all those involved. I can't think of anything harder at the moment. I am hoping once the mind can wrap itself around what the heart has done and said, then there is an infinite amount of information one can learn about the past and one's own capabilities.

So...that's the latest, the mind is jumping with thoughts, but not ready to communicate them as of yet...at least not in entirety.